


Cryptobusters s03e14: The Infamous Goatman Episode

by mikawritesthings



Series: Cryptostuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Demons, Gen, Goatman - Freeform, Humanstuck, a lot of people are excited for this apparently so now im nervous, cryptid, cryptid hunter au, cryptostuck, heavily inspired by buzzfeed unsolved because im unoriginal, part of a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-07-25 19:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16203770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikawritesthings/pseuds/mikawritesthings
Summary: Before the Cryptobusters' fateful encounter with Mothman, there was the episode where they came face to face with Goatman.





	1. Setup

**Author's Note:**

> This one takes place before the Mothman episode, but I wrote it after because I wasn't originally planning on making this a series. Whoops.

JOHN: hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of crypto busters!

ROSE: I must say, I’m very excited about this week’s subject.

DAVE: well im not

JADE: c’mon dave, where’s your sense of adventure?

DAVE: im just gonna say right out the gate that i can already tell this is not about to be my favorite episode

DAVE: because this week were investigating goatmans bridge

[The video cuts to an image of a worn-down pedestrian bridge, with the silhouette of a humanoid figure sporting massive goat horns superimposed over it.]

ROSE, NARRATING: Goatman’s Bridge is most well-known as a singular bridge in Alton, Texas, haunted by a demon said to appear as a human with the head of a goat.

ROSE: However, other such demonic bridges are a national phenomenon, including one haunted by an entirely separate Goatman here in Trappist, West Virginia.

ROSE: This Goatman has been described as a satyr of sorts, with the legs of a goat, torso of a man, and head of a goat with forward-facing eyes. Bizarrely enough, some accounts say that it sports clown makeup.

[We cut back to the Cryptobusters.]

DAVE: is goatman a juggalo

JOHN: hahaha!

JADE: haha, oh my god, he totally is!!!

ROSE: Well, narrating that put a damper on my mood.

DAVE: yeah i should probably mention that rose is terrified of clowns

JOHN: woah, seriously?

ROSE: I am not “terrified” of clowns. That implies a fight or flight response. When I see a clown, the only emotion I feel is blind rage.

JOHN: that’s, uh, still a fight or flight response. just with the “flight” cut out.

JADE: also, can we just talk about the forward-facing eyes? because i’ve seen this one prehistoric species of goat with binocular vision--like illustrations and stuff--

JOHN: it’s butt-ugly. not scary at all.

DAVE: okay first of all if i saw myotragus balearicus in the shadows or some shit

DAVE: and yes thats the name i just googled it

DAVE: id be running for my fucking life dude

ROSE: Myotragus does fall very squarely into the uncanny valley, yes. I appreciate that in a cryptid.

JADE: honestly? that explains a lot.

[Cut back to the slideshow, where we now see the Cryptobusters’ Photoshopped-together illustration of Goatman.  _ Myotragus’s _ head is pasted on a clipart satyr’s body, and its face now sports a crude sketch of ICP member Violent J’s typical makeup.]

ROSE: Locals who sleep on or near the bridge often report dreams of being violently murdered by Goatman in various fashions, most often through bludgeoning.

ROSE: This has led to sleeping in the area becoming a popular dare amongst teenagers.

[Cut to an interview with Equius Zahhak, a local martial arts trainer. Equius is intimidatingly tall and impressively musclebound, but his shoulder-length hair implies a less fearsome side. That, or he’s attempting to emulate Conan the Barbarian.]

EQUIUS: D→ When I was in sophomore year of high sch00l, I slept on Goatman’s bridge as part of a dare.

EQUIUS: D→ That night, I had a recurring nightmare of Goatman strangling me to death. 

EQUIUS: D→ I can confirm that he does indeed wear clown makeup.

DAVE: it wasnt in like

DAVE: an unsavory context

DAVE: right

EQUIUS: D→ I assure you it was nothing of the kind. It was an e%tremely harrowing e%perience, and...

EQUIUS: D→ I...I need a towel.

[Cut to another interview with Aradia Megido, a demonology & occult expert who often appears on the show. She has long, voluminous black hair framing a pleasant face, although some might feel as though something about her is a bit...off.]

ARADIA: i would say that goatman is a rather aggressive presence as demons go

ARADIA: he makes himself known quite easily

ARADIA: that being said if you are trying to initiate an encounter with goatman try not to encourage him too much

ROSE: Are you familiar with the story that Goatman appears in dreams to those who sleep on the bridge?

ARADIA: very much so! dreams can be a powerful tool to communicate with the metaphysical

ARADIA: sometimes even if you dont want to


	2. Off To the Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cryptobusters head out to Goatman's Bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one today. Hopefully this fic will be done by the end of October!

[We see the Cryptobusters approaching the same pedestrian bridge pictured in the earlier slideshow. This particular piece of footage is from Rose’s camera. They stand in a vague huddle formation before properly stepping onto it.]

JOHN: alright, what’s the plan?

DAVE: well unlike yall i came prepared

DAVE: i got both a crucifix and a star of david

DAVE: in case the fact that im jewish cancels out the power of jesus or whatever the fuck

JADE: “unlike us,” dave??

JADE: behold!

[Jade brandishes an enormous Nerf Super Soaker.]

JADE: turns out that if you ask a priest to bless your super soaker they technically cant say no!!!

JADE: so everything this gun shoots is holy water!

ROSE: That brings a few unsavory questions to mind, but I won’t ask them on camera.

DAVE: i will

DAVE: if you filled it with piss would that still be holy

JADE: i regret making that statement!

[The Cryptobusters proceed to the threshold between solid ground and the bridge. After exchanging a serious look, they simultaneously take a dramatic step into Goatman’s domain.]


	3. This was a mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John makes an attempt to communicate with Goatman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters have been really short lately, so apologies! I'm posting as I go rather than once I'm finished, so it's not completely foolproof.

[Cut to footage from Jade’s camera of the Cryptobusters exploring the bridge. Rose is setting up a Ouija board inside of a salt circle, John is peering over the edge into the water below, Dave is fiddling with some kind of electronic equipment, and Jade is examining some graffiti on one of the beams. The aforementioned graffiti is crudely handwritten in purple spray paint. It reads “aBaNdOn AlL hOpE bItChEs,” signed off with a sinister smiley face that has a round clown nose.]

DAVE: okay everyone show of hands

DAVE: who wants to communicate with goatman via roses deeply inherently flawed ouija board that the slightest hand tremor can influence

ROSE: Dave.

DAVE: and who wants to use the far more foolproof spirit box

JOHN: why not both?

DAVE: good thinking

DAVE: but im going first

JADE: how about this: first we try to talk to him with our own human senses?

ROSE: We can progress from most to least fallible. First Jade’s idea, then Dave’s, then mine.

JOHN: why are we arguing over the most scientifically guaranteed way to talk to a demon? weren’t you guys really scared of doing this episode earlier?

ROSE: If you don’t trust in anyone’s methods, why don’t you talk to Goatman first, John?

ROSE: My research says that to speak with Goatman, you must first knock three times on the bridge.

JOHN: you know, i think i will.

[After a dramatic pause, John knocks three times on the beam behind him. He looks around himself, as if to check for any sudden appearances, and then clears his throat.]

JOHN: fuck you, goat man!!!

DAVE: WHAT

JADE: why???

ROSE: When I said “speak to Goatman,” this was not what I meant.

JOHN: listen, we gotta get his attention somehow! we have to make our presence known!

DAVE: hey goatman were not affiliated with him

JADE: he’s suffering temporary insanity!! please understand that we respect your bridge!

ROSE: I hate to interrupt this lovely conversation, but does anyone else hear that?

[The Cryptobusters fall silent, listening closely to the nature sounds around them. We mostly just hear crickets. Then, from underneath the bridge, there is a soft splashing sound.]

JADE: is...is someone under the bridge???

[Jade hesitates, then gingerly points her camera over the edge of the bridge. Even with the special night vision lens, nothing is visible but the river below.]

JOHN: that’s sure something, alright.

ROSE: I think it would be wise to attempt another form of communication.


	4. Turns Out Ouija Boards Don't Work That Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cryptobusters make another attempt at reaching Goatman, this time with a Ouija board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, sometimes I wonder why this fic isn't getting as much attention as the first fic in this series. Then I remember it has scenes like this.

[Cut to footage from a tripod of all four Cryptobusters in a circle around Rose’s Ouija board. They are surrounded by a salt circle, with crystals and electric tea lights decorating the inner border. Each Cryptobuster places their index and middle fingers on the planchette.]

ROSE: To the being known as Goatman, we come to your bridge in peace.

ROSE: Despite what some of us may have said to the contrary.

JOHN: hey!

ROSE: We only wish to ask you a few simple questions.

ROSE: Firstly, what is your real name, if not Goatman?

[The planchette slowly begins to move. It almost stops on M, but then moves to NO.]

JOHN: well, either this thing is busted or goatman is clowning us.

JOHN: get it?

JOHN: clowning?

DAVE: i believe we established a rule that in order not to anger spirits

DAVE: no one is allowed to make shitty puns on the ouija board johnathan

ROSE: Do you have anything to say to us, Goatman?

[The planchette spells out L, then O, then L.]

JADE: you’re right, john. goatman is clowning us.

DAVE: yeah this is getting us nowhere

ROSE: I agree. Shall we make one final attempt with the spirit box?

DAVE: hell fuckin yeah

[The Cryptobusters spell out GOODBYE on the ouija board.]


	5. Spirit Box Funtimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cryptobusters make one final attempt at communicating with Goatman, this time with Dave's spirit box.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What even is this fic anymore?

[Cut to footage from Rose’s camera. Dave is proudly wielding the electronic equipment from earlier, which looks like a plastic sphere connected via wire to a walkie-talkie.]

DAVE: alright gather round ladies and germs and behold the paranormal investigator’s best friend

DAVE: the mighty spirit box

JADE: how does it work?

DAVE: i have no fucking clue i just saw it on buzzfeed unsolved and bought a used one off ebay for like twenty bucks in a fit of envious rage

DAVE: i think you just press the button here and

[The spirit box turns on and immediately begins to produce an extremely loud barrage of short bursts of static. John visibly jumps backwards a little.]

DAVE: so we use this to talk to goatman i guess

JADE: goatman, can you hear us?

[The spirit box emits a noise that sounds like either a human saying “yes” or a duck quacking.]

JOHN: was that a yes?

[More static.]

ROSE: My name is Rose, and this Scooby Doo-esque group surrounding me are John, Dave, and Jade. Can you say our names back to us?

[Still more static, albeit with about a second of what might be music.]

JOHN: maybe goat man’s just shy.

JADE: goatman, i’m sorry john insulted you. if that’s why you don’t want to talk, then--

SPIRIT BOX: HONK

[The device shuts itself off. A stunned silence follows.]

DAVE: well that cant be good


	6. it's not good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cryptobusters begin the next stage of their investigation: to camp out at Goatman's Bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, everybody. I'm finally back and inspired to finish this fic! Or at least make further progress on it!

[Cut to another piece of footage from Rose’s camera. The Cryptobusters are walking on a trail through the woods near the bridge, engaged in some kind of serious conversation.]

DAVE: listen i dont give a shit about shot composition or mise en scene or anything that might come out of a film majors mouth

DAVE: i went to venom to see one thing

DAVE: unintentional homoerotic subtext

JADE: there’s homoerotic subtext in everything if you look hard enough, dave! like naruto! remember when you wrote an essay about how naruto was gay for a grade?

JOHN: wait, you mean the naruto essay wasn’t a joke?

JOHN: a really long, drawn out, joke?

ROSE: It’s sad how none of you are acknowledging the oft-neglected other direction of homoerotic subtext.

ROSE: Many so-called “chick flicks” come to mind, including Pitch Perfect, The Devil Wears Prada, and--

JADE: mean girls?

DAVE: do not get rose started on mean girls jade

DAVE: all of us strilondes have something we physically cannot shut the fuck up about and for rose it’s mean girls

JOHN: and for you, it’s what? everything?

[The gang stops in what looks like a neglected campsite. There is a large clearing in the trees, the forest floor mostly covered in leaf litter and pine needles. Various signs of human activity are evident here and there, including the phrase “4NYON3 3LS3 H3R3 SMOK3 W33D” written on a tree with charcoal, several ceramic frogs arranged in a circle to create a makeshift fire pit, and what looks like the sleeve of a bright red sweater.]

JADE: so, just for our audience members, this is where people sleep in order to have dreams about goatman.

JADE: tonight we’ll be camping out here, and hopefully we’ll get a better understanding of what happened in these past few hours!

DAVE: oh fuck yeah lets get down on that weird fire pit and make some smores

ROSE: Burnt confectionaries aside, I’m concerned about the graffiti in the campsite. Specifically this.

[Rose steadies her camera on a message carved into a nearby tree that previously wasn’t visible. It reads “sWeEt DrEaMs AnD sHiT,” once again signed off with a clown-nosed smiley face.]

JOHN: who takes the time to write these things? like, who would bother to write their creepy messages with alternating letters?

ROSE: I suspect it has much to do with the demon himself, judging by the nose on the little smiley face.

DAVE: remember what aradia said about goatman being an aggressive presence something something dont make him angry

JOHN: are you saying goat man himself left this writing?

JADE: because he’s angry?

DAVE: yeah but hes like

DAVE: chill about it

DAVE: wow i am not gonna sleep well tonight

[Cut to a time lapse of the Cryptobusters setting up mattress pads and sleeping bags, getting settled in for the long night ahead.]


	7. John Realizes He Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only do things take a turn for the worse, they drift around a corner, brakes screeching, before hitting a ramp and jumping over Worse Canyon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was incredibly fun to write.

[We see footage from the same tripod camera that the Cryptobusters used to film their “getting settled in” timelapse. A timestamp in the corner indicates that it is 4:13 AM. John wakes up with a start, letting out a yelp.]

JOHN: home!

[Jade stirs slightly, not fully awake.]

JADE: ugh, go to sleep.

[John calms down from whatever nightmare he had, then starts shaking Jade awake.]

JOHN: jade, jade wake up. i need to talk with you guys. jade--

[John is interrupted by the distant sound of crunching leaves, as though someone is walking toward the campsite. Rose wakes up immediately, leaping from her prone position in her sleeping bag to a fighting stance. Dave, barely awake, lifts his head from his pillow with a look of confusion, and Jade snaps to full consciousness, grabbing her Holy Super Soaker.]

ROSE: Whoever is there, show yourself!

JADE: we’ve got a super soaker full of holy water, some holy symbols, and a pocket knife i think, and we’re not afraid to use them!!!

DAVE: what

DAVE: what is happening

JADE: shh, listen!

[Just like the earlier scene at the bridge, there is an eerie silence over the campground, punctuated only by the sound of crickets.]

ROSE: Jade?

JADE: yeah?

ROSE: Do you recall the information we neglected to discuss earlier in the video? About visitors hearing the sound of footsteps?

JADE: there’d be footsteps leading up to the campground, and then it would go quiet, and then…

JOHN: ...someone would get possessed.

[Dawning realization crosses the Cryptobusters’ respective faces. Each member of the team stands and backs away from one another slowly, until they stand in a wide circle. Jade readies her Super Soaker. Rose’s hand inches towards her pocket. There is a tense pause.]

ROSE: So which one of you is it?

JOHN: what are you talking about? even when we dealt with demons before, i could never get possessed--

ROSE: How do we know that for certain? How do we know you haven’t been the Goatman this entire time?

DAVE: this is complete bullshit

DAVE: if one of us were goatman we wouldnt have been getting anything through the spirit box

JADE: so? that time with the ouija board spelling out “lol” is exactly the kind of thing goatman would do! i could feel you moving the planchette, dave! if you really are dave!

DAVE: how do i know yall arent goatman then

DAVE: goatman would be the one to try and make us turn against each other like in that goddamn antarctic movie

DAVE: rose

ROSE: Why me? Goatman is clever. He would possess the most trustworthy member of our team. And Jade is suspect number one in that regard.

JADE: i’m flattered you think i’m trustworthy, but that’s enough! everyone, tell me something only you would know!

[Jade points her Super Soaker at John.]

JOHN: remember that time we were twelve and bec turned green all over and i said it was because he rolled in grass?

JOHN: that was my fault! i was trying to paint him to look like slimer for halloween, but the paint was really crappy!

[The Super Soaker turns to Rose.]

ROSE: I admit it. Despite HP Lovecraft’s racism and xenophobia becoming blatant in many of his works, I still admire his writing skill. And I find his work to be more enjoyable than most derivatives!

[The Super Soaker turns to Dave.]

DAVE: remember that shitty bigfoot themed promposal karkat did in high school that failed spectacularly but still convinced me to go with him as a guys being dudes kinda thing

DAVE: it wasnt a platonic guys being dudes thing

DAVE: we were and in fact still are dating

ROSE: And you, Jade?

[Jade tears up a little.]

JADE: i still havent forgiven myself for killing my tomato plant. he was about to start flowering and i overwatered him!!!

[Everyone visibly relaxes,  Jade lowering her Holy Super Soaker. John opens his mouth, as if to crack a joke, when the footsteps suddenly resume. This time, they’re much closer than before. In what little light there is, we can see the face of a goat with forward-facing eyes and clown makeup emerge from the shadows.]

GOATMAN: BeTtEr RuN mOtHeRfUcKeRs

[The footage abruptly cuts off.]


	8. :o)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one today. This is my first time writing an action sequence, so...yeah.

[From here, a large part of the footage is extremely shaky, so viewers must guess what’s happening from the audio. From the sound of it, the Cryptobusters are running like hell.]

DAVE: FUCK FUCK FUCK

DAVE: JESUS CHRIST HES GOT A FUCKING BASEBALL BAT

[There is a distant whap, like the sound of a cartoon villain threateningly smacking a blunt weapon into their hand.]

GOATMAN: yOu KnOw It

JOHN: WHERE DID HE GET THAT THING????????

DAVE: WHY IS THAT A PRIORITY JOHN

[The footage blurs even more as the cameraperson whips around. We can see moonlight glinting off a knife as it flies through the air. Goatman catches it.]

GOATMAN: GoNnA hAvE tO tRy HaRdEr ThAn ThAt

[The knife speeds back towards the Cryptobusters. We hear John yelp.]

ROSE: JOHN!

[The footage blurs once again. There is a loud thud, as if the cameraperson tackled someone out of the way of the knife.]

ROSE: Where the hell is Jade?!

DAVE: I DONT KNOW JUST FUCKIN RUN

[Over the sound of frantic sprinting, we can hear a distant yell, almost like a war cry. The yell gets closer and closer, and for a split second we can see Jade. She’s brandishing her Holy Super Soaker and running towards Goatman.]

JADE: FUCK YOU, GOATMAN!!!!!!!!!

[The camera turns towards Goatman one last time as Jade shoots a powerful stream of holy water directly into his eyes. Hissing and clawing at his face, he recoils and shrinks backward, but not before shakily pointing at our heroes.]

GOATMAN: ThIs IsNt MoThErFuCkInG oVeR

[Goatman turns tail and flees. The Cryptobusters stand completely still, trying to process the events of the last few seconds.]


	9. Well That Just Happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like we're winding down towards the end. Thanks for all the support, everyone!

[We cut to the aftermath of the encounter with Goatman. The gang is back at the campground, still dazed. Jade is absentmindedly clinging to her Holy Super Soaker. Dave is lying back on his sleeping bag, clearly winded. Rose is pacing back and forth, muttering to herself. John is staring at the ground as though he has something heavy on his mind.]

DAVE: so

DAVE: either we just lived out an episode of scooby doo where the villain never gets unmasked

DAVE: or goatman is real and just really fuckin hates us in particular

ROSE: If that really was someone in a costume, do you think they would have reacted so strongly to the holy water?

JADE: yeah, who would put on that kind of act just to mess with us?

DAVE: i guess thats a pretty weak defense but like

DAVE: ruling out the weaker theories is just part of the business

ROSE: If that was indeed Goatman, this raises a troubling question. Why does he, in Dave’s words, “really fuckin hate us in particular?”

JOHN: guys…

DAVE: maybe one of our distant ancestors had beef with one of goatmans demon higher ups and he was just biding his time

DAVE: until we went through our dumbass teenage rite of passage and slept near his bridge of doom

DAVE: we were a few years late on that one

ROSE: Us damned millennials and our extended adolescence.

JOHN: it’s my fault.

JADE: it’s not!

JOHN: just--just listen. i was the one who “encouraged him too much.”

JOHN: i was the one who didn’t take this seriously enough, and we all suffered for it.

JOHN: i’m sorry.

[A brief pause.]

ROSE: First off, John, none of us took this very seriously.

ROSE: We’ve had many fruitless efforts in contacting demons before. I doubt any of us thought this would be different.

ROSE: And to be thoroughly honest, Ouija boards are for sleepovers. I only brought it because it made us look like we knew what we were doing.

JADE: yeah! that’s our entire show right there. we pretend we know what we’re doing!

JOHN: there’s...there’s another thing.

JOHN: i had a night mare about goat man.

JOHN: but instead of killing me, he was killing all my friends. some were people i’d never met, but i felt like they were my friends.

JOHN: mostly, though...mostly it was my real life friends. including you guys.

JOHN: that’s why i felt like this was my fault.

[Another pause.]

DAVE: john do you remember that interview with equius where he said goatman strangled him in his dream

JOHN: well, yeah, but--

DAVE: did he die in real life

DAVE: did he follow the largely debunked myth that if you die in the dreamspace you die in the meatspace

DAVE: of course he fuckin didnt

ROSE: A demon tampering with your subconscious does not equal a body count.

JADE: your nightmares aren’t your fault, john. besides, we were ready for him, weren’t we?

[Jade grins, proudly brandishing her Holy Super Soaker once again. John cracks a smile.]

JOHN: aw, guys, you’re making me tear up a little.

JADE: you know what this means???

JADE: group hug!!!

[The gang gathers around John in one big, comforting hug circle. For the first time this night, the Cryptobusters are safe.]


	10. Q&A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're at the end. Thanks so much to everyone who left their feedback! Y'all are the best!

[Shortly after the Goatman episode airs, the Cryptobusters release a Q&A video to their secondary channel. It opens with all four Cryptobusters sitting at a table, the same as they do in the intros to normal episodes.]

JOHN: hello, and welcome to another cryptobusters q&a, where we answer your questions about the latest episode!

DAVE: lemme tell ya there were a lot of fuckin questions

DAVE: including a few i had myself

JADE: our first question is from “cuttlefishculler,” who says:

CC: I was pretty -EXCIT---ED w)(en I saw Goatman )(imself make an appearance! I do wis)( t)(e footage )(ad been more stable, t)(ough. Is t)(at possible?

ROSE: Well, when we find a camera that remains stable as the cameraperson is running for their life, we’ll implement it immediately.

JOHN: yeah, if we have the budget for it. and if ghost adventures doesn’t get their hands on it first.

JADE: you--you’re talking like there’s only one of these cameras??? in this scenario??

DAVE: nah theres two of them and buzzfeed unsolved gets the second one

DAVE: anyway our next question is from arachnidsgrip who says

AG: 8ut hasn’t anyone met Goatman in person (NOT in a dream) 8efore? You said that plenty of people had slept on the 8ridge!

JOHN: well, uh, there was the whole thing about us bringing a bunch of equipment to his bridge, and then goofing around on his bridge, and generally disrespecting his bridge...

ROSE: Perhaps he saw it as gentrifying his bridge.

DAVE: yeah the last thing a demon wants is for bridge rent to start going up

[The Cryptobusters start cracking up.]

JADE: and next thing you know, there’ll be, like, an artisan coffee shop on his bridge! the kind that doesn’t even serve mochas or anything, just regular expensive coffee!

JOHN: yeah, right next to the bridge whole foods and the bridge chipotle!

DAVE: the bridge chipotle that shuts down after the millionth case of fuckin bridge salmonella

ROSE: Our next question is from one “carcinoGeneticist,” who says:

CG: DOES GOATMAN EVEN COUNT AS A CRYPTID IN THE FIRST PLACE? HE’S A DEMON. I THOUGHT DEMONS WERE LISTED AS A SEPARATE CATEGORY.

DAVE: wow not this argument again

ROSE: This would be an interesting discussion, were it not for the fact that we technically broke the “cryptids only” rule in our very first episode.

ROSE: At the time, I remember us all arguing over whether a ghost can be considered a cryptid or not.

ROSE: So, like Dave is saying, I’d rather not extend this video by half an hour with the question of whether demons are cryptids.

ROSE: Not again.


End file.
